You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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