hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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