Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
