I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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