I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
