Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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