If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
