It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
