I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
