So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
