Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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