I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
