I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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