awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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