Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
