also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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