If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
