i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
