LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
