ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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