He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
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i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
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I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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