My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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