good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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