I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What a dumb baby whore.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
