Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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