life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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