when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
