Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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