I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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