I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
