Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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