Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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