Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hippo gnu deer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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