Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
