Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize