Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
