I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
