we're chasing vodka with high fives
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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