We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize