Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
