think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
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Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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