508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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