Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
