You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
