I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
