How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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