There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
