i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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