Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
