hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
