woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
