If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
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YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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