Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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