Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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