Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
