Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
