I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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