What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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