Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am puke
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
