I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
