That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
