Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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