I cannot find my penis.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize